World’s Worst Similes

Over two decades ago, I came across some similes that ignited my imagination – not because they were particularly poetic or because they were particularly profound … they ignited my imagination because they are particularly creative in their use of comparing very “unlike” things that somehow seem similar … and because they use the comedian’s best weapon: they capitalize on the unexpected.  Even though I have a collection of hundreds of inspirational quotes, I still can’t get myself to get rid of these four similes:

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.  (Maybe this is an anti-simile?  ;^)

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

The image comes from Angel Oak Creative.


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1 Response

  1. karissa says:

    haha, I love these!

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